


Mindless Chatter

by winterthur



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa
Genre: Canon: Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4173525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterthur/pseuds/winterthur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lazy afternoon in which two budding rocket scientists discuss important topics such as, "If you had a kid, what would you name it?" as well as a short discussion about musical tastes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mindless Chatter

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short self-indulgent fanfic I wrote at 3am the other night. But please enjoy!
> 
> (This is my first submission here, so if I've done anything oddly, feel free to let me know!)

"Hey, Alfons, if you could choose, would you have a boy or a girl?"

Alfons Heiderich took a tentative glance at his roommate, shocked by such a question. He and Edward didn't talk about these kinds of topics, so it was completely uncharted territory, and Alfons was unsure where Edward was taking it. 

"A son or daughter, you mean? Hmm..." Might as well entertain him. After all, it might simply be late afternoon musings. 

Even though they were on holiday, the two of them still found themselves working on rocket designs. Edward was certainly good at it, Alfons thought as he looked over his own designs. 

_Utter rubbish, honestly..._

"Alfons?"

"Oh, uhhh," To be honest, he'd never thought about having a family, being entirely dedicated to his work and all. Besides that, with his illness, it was an even more absurd dream than going to space. "I guess, well, either is fine?"

Edward sighed softly, in a way that Alfons knew that meant he didn't like the answer.

"It's not something one thinks about if he's unmarried and not expecting-" At his own words, he froze. 

_Is Edward... Does he have a lover? DID HE KNOCK SOMEONE UP??_

His heartbeat had sped up a little and he told himself to breathe. This was Edward they were talking about, the man with his head in the clouds, who pretended to be asleep during the day, who seemed to have a tough time even coping with reality!

Alfons wondered if he belonged in a mental institution. He frowned at the thought. He'd heard they weren't the best places in terms of care. Edward was so fragile, as much as he would have you believe otherwise, who knew how easily he'd break? Besides, Edward hated regular hospitals, a mental one was out of the question.

"Edward, are you...?"

"What?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No." He said simply and calmly, and a quick glance from his seat at the desk showed Alfons that Edward was flipping through a notebook filled with science and rockets and the like, while the daydreamer-blond sat against the headboard of the bed.

Knowing also how Edward could get hung up on the dumbest thing, Alfons decided to play the semantics game.

"A fiance?"

"Nope."

"You're not married are you?"

The sound of shuffled papers meant that Edward had set the notebook down and must be staring at Alfons' back. 

"Where'd you get that idea?" He said incredulously. 

"Men don't usually think about children so young unless they're gonna have one."

Edward was silent for a moment before replying. "I don't want kids, I...." He stopped and started a few times. "It was just mindless conversation." He leaned back against the pillow he propped up and picked up where he left off on his notes.

"What for?"

"I like having conversations that don't matter." He said blankly, leaving Alfons to wonder if he meant it or was being sarcastic.

_One can never know with him..._

Alfons stared at his work absentmindedly before speaking up. "A girl, then."

"What would you name her?" Edward picked up on the conversation instantly.

"Hm. Gwendolyn maybe? Flower names are nice too, like Holly and Daisy, or Lila."

"Lila is no plant I've heard of."

"Like _Lilac._ "

"Oh."

"Charlotte is cute." He added. "My best friend in 2nd grade was named Charlotte."

"Aw, how sweet, did you have a crush on her?"

Alfons chuckled softly. "I don't think so. Oh, Nina is a cute name too."

Edward didn't respond, so Alfons figured he didn't hear it. "What about you? Boy or girl?"

"Hmm..." He took a while to respond, that Alfons thought he had forgotten about the conversation entirely. "One of each." He then responded. 

_I didn't realize that was an option, Edward. Jeez.... And you refused to let me just say 'either'!_

"If you could only have one though?" Alfons tried. 

"Uh, a boy then. I'm not good at sensitive stuff, and I wouldn't want to hurt my daughter's feelings, so a boy would be easier."

_What if you had a sensitive son though?_ Alfons didn't ask. "Name?"

"Uhhh, Sven." He said out of nowhere. "Or maybe Stian."

"I pegged you for the type to name your kid after people you like."

"What do you mean?"

"After Hermann Hesse for example."

"Dr. Oberth's first name is Hermann as well. Eh, I don't really like it. It sounds like Mr.Man, or in English a bit like Hairy Man."

"Hans, then?"

"Why? Oh, Hans Giebenrath? Hm. Nah, I wouldn't name a kid after such an unhappy tale."

"You like 'S' names. Stian and Sven. Any others?"

Alfons heard Edward tapping his pencil across the paper pad, no longer just a mindless conversation, instead having fun with it. "There are some names I like, but I know people with them so it's ruined. Like Officer Hughes."

"Mäs?"

"No, Hugh, for a first name. I know it's different but, there's no way, it'd be too weird, you know? Oh, Hugo would be okay though. Yeah, I like Hugo."

Alfons smiled. This conversation was so normal, he could almost forget that the two of them were struggling rocket scientists who hardly got along some days. 

"What about you?" Edward asked.

"What?"

"If you had a boy, what then?"

"Oh, uh, Gabriel is nice. After Dante Gabriel Rossetti, perhaps. 'Sudden Light' was my favorite back in middle school." He laughed. "Michael, Tristan, Johan, and Wolfgang are names I like also."

"Hm."

A glance at Edward revealed that he was smiling. 

_Is he laughing at me, I wonder?_

"And if you had a daughter, Edward?"

"That's a toughy, I'm not good at girl names. Let me think..." Though he said this, it was barely a minute before he spoke. "Ophelia, Colette, Genevieve, aaaaand.... Mathilde."

Alfons smiled bigger. "Those are pretty names. I think you'd do good with a daughter, despite what you think."

"Oh?"

_Because, though you don't seem to acknowledge it, you're a sensitive person yourself._  
"Yeah. Not that you can pick, of course, but yeah, you'd be good with a daughter, I think."

He stole one more glance at Edward and saw him smiling, twirling his pen in his left hand. 

"Maybe. Oh, that reminds me, my original point in all this-"

_What does he mean "original point"?? He said it was mindless chatter!_

"-Was etymology. I read yours in a book and that's where all this came from."

"Oh yeah? Yours too, right? What does Edward mean anyway?"

"Rich Protector." He smiled confidently. 

Alfons leaned over the back of his chair and held out his hand. "Well then, Mr. Protector, share some of those riches, yeah?"

The two of them laughed. 

"Alright, what's mine?"

"Alfons means battle-ready, but that's not the _funny_ part."

_Oh god, what does he mean FUNNY?_

"Alfons comes from the old Germanic _Hildefuns._ " And he giggled after he said it.

Alfons felt his face twitch slightly. "What's so funny about that?"

He shrugged and made a sound. "Dunno. Sounds like a horse's name to me."

"Very funny!" Alfons said defensively. Honestly, Edward always knew how to ruin a mood.

Edward, sensing the mood for once, realized how Alfons must have taken it. "Other than that though, it's actually a very interesting combination! Like how I liked the name Mathilde, it also has Hilde in it, and then it has Funs which is... Neat. Fun is good. And besides, uh, um, that itself originally comes from _Idlefonso_ , from Spain I think, though I think it still has the same meaning, and, uh..."

Alfons was no longer mad, because he knew that when Edward rambled like that, trying to make someone feel better, it meant he had recognized that he did wrong and he was trying to fix it somehow. None the less, he let the boy struggle a little longer.

"Um, but uh, as we were saying earlier, um... About names we like?" 

Ah, trying to change the subject back to good ground, eh? 

"I'm surprised you didn't pick any from that book you like, at least none I recognized."

"Book? Which book?"

"The really big one."

That didn't help. Alfons had loads of big books, heavy and tall and thick alike.

At the German boy's blank gaze, Edward elaborated.

"The miserable one."

"Miserable? Oh! Le Miserable!"

"Yes, that one!"

"Huh, I didn't really think of that... You said earlier you like the name Colette, and in Le Mis there's a Co _sette_."

"Hm, still a pretty name, I think. But, that story is a tragedy, right?"

"Cosette ends up well off considering. I guess I didn't pick any of the names because I don't really like French stuff."

"You like that book."

"Well... Still."

Edward laughed at him. "I can't really stand tragedies, they're all the same. Some woman dies of tuberculosis, there's a rich guy involved. Usually the parents don't approve."

"That's not-" Alfons stopped. "Shit, you're right. But that doesn't make them the same!" Edward snorted at him. "Well you like La Traviata, so you're one to talk!"

That shut him up. "I just... Like the music!" He defended rather lamely.

"Sometimes I question your taste in music..."

"La Traviata is good music, so shut your trap!"

"La Traviata aside! You think Marion Harris' voice is grating!!"

"It is!"

The two glared at each other. 

After some time, Alfons swiped a hand through his hair with a deep sigh. 

"Can we agree on one thing? Carmen has some of the best music of our time." Edward offered.

"Hell no, Carmen is gorgeous." Alfons said with a small smile. "What do you mean _our time_ , it's the best of all time!"

Edward chuckled softly. "Good, then we agree."

Alfons turned back to his blueprints-in-the-works, a grin etched on his face. 

"Yeah." _I guess we do._

Living with Edward on a bad day was like a test from god.

But living with him on a good day was a magical heaven-sent _gift._

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there it is! :> I haven't written FMA fics in a long time, but I recently got back into the series and found my creative side just overflowing with thoughts and ideas and AUs, so please look forward to them!!
> 
>  
> 
> Now, a couple things- Yes, I did have fun with the names. I like names.
> 
> Second, Marion Harris is an American singer, so I don't know if they'd actually know about her or not all the way in Germany, but hey. It's fanfic. 
> 
> Third (and lastly), I feel nervous about revealing my fave headcanon up there. Edward like operatic music. Carmen is probably his favorite (it's got so many catchy songs, I mean come on!). I headcanon that he likes more uppity music though, because otherwise it lulls him a bit. He's got to be in the mood for chill music.
> 
> Whereas Alfons can listen to anything whenever. He just drowns out music when he's focused, so he doesn't even really hear it after a while.


End file.
